Was asked by a new acquaintance last night:
Him: Are you pure chinese?
Me: Yeah? Why? Don't I look Chinese to you?
Him: Erm.. you look mixed..
Me: Huh? ** takes out compact mirror and scrutinized own reflection for the next 10 minutes** mixed with what?
Him: You look a bit angmor to me..
I think he was drunk :)
Showing posts with label Funny. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Funny. Show all posts
Monday, August 3, 2009
Saturday, July 18, 2009
I'm a beembow..
wanted to blog about this sometime ago, but I forgot..
Last few weeks, we were doing some briefing for students who are leaving..
Being a newbie, I just sat in and watched and learn while my manager did the briefing..
What happened was this:
Manager: Ok, you must not bring bla bla bla bla yada yada... if you bring must declare ok..
Student: Ok.
Manager: are you bringin bla bla bla yada yada?
Student: Erm.. don't think so, Can just buy it there, rite?
Manager: yeah.. what about bla bla bla bla?
Student: Maybe..
Manager: Remember to bring mask ar..
At this point, I was thinkin "yeah it's winter in Australia now. The air must be really cold and dry.. you need really hydrating mask, maybe some really good lotion and moisturiser too.. aooh and lip balm :) "
Manager: make sure you have the mask once you check in at the airport, preferably wear it in the plane and avoid over crowded place.. You know la.. H1N1 cases now very serious..
Student: Ok.
ME: =___= mask itu rupa rupanya..
Last few weeks, we were doing some briefing for students who are leaving..
Being a newbie, I just sat in and watched and learn while my manager did the briefing..
What happened was this:
Manager: Ok, you must not bring bla bla bla bla yada yada... if you bring must declare ok..
Student: Ok.
Manager: are you bringin bla bla bla yada yada?
Student: Erm.. don't think so, Can just buy it there, rite?
Manager: yeah.. what about bla bla bla bla?
Student: Maybe..
Manager: Remember to bring mask ar..
At this point, I was thinkin "yeah it's winter in Australia now. The air must be really cold and dry.. you need really hydrating mask, maybe some really good lotion and moisturiser too.. aooh and lip balm :) "
Manager: make sure you have the mask once you check in at the airport, preferably wear it in the plane and avoid over crowded place.. You know la.. H1N1 cases now very serious..
Student: Ok.
ME: =___= mask itu rupa rupanya..
Monday, June 22, 2009
Ze box-zes
have arrivezzz~
Finally... finally... finally...
can embrace my beloved accesories, heels, bags, clothes etc etc
ah~~~
Everything arrived safely...
everything.....
.....except for Dang Ou
*?#$%^&@#
WTFKNNCCBSHITLAKLCCPWTC!
Finally... finally... finally...
can embrace my beloved accesories, heels, bags, clothes etc etc
ah~~~Everything arrived safely...
everything.....
.....except for Dang Ou
*?#$%^&@#WTFKNNCCBSHITLAKLCCPWTC!
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Sunday, June 14, 2009
FMyLife
Think your life is miserable?
Think luck is not on your side?
Think your life is fucked up?
Check these out...
Today, in the bathroom during the ACTs, my hair got stuck in the electric hand dryer. I had to rip my hair out. For future reference, hair + hand dryer = dreadlocks. FML
Today, I was alone in my friend's kitchen. I had "Don't Cha" stuck in my head all day so I decided to let it out by doing a slutty dance, including spinning around the support pole in the kitchen. I heard a noise outside and saw my friend's dad had been cleaning the windows. With a boner. FML
Today, my adorable five and a half year old boy told me that when he grows up he's going to be my boyfriend. I thought it was kinda cute until I asked him why. "Because you need one." FML
Today, was teacher appreciation day at my school. They played a slideshow of all the teachers. The students cheered wildly for every teacher. When my picture came up, nobody clapped. The whole room was quiet. FML
My favourite:
Today, my cousin and I found out that when a girl puts a flower in the right side of her hair, it means she's available. The bigger the flower, the more available she is. My eleven year old boy cousin told me to "cut down a palm tree and put it in my hair". FML
I've been addicted to it since I found out about this site from Suet Li.
I know la it is bad to laugh at people's misfortune or badluck but sometimes it just makes you think hey my life is not so bad afterall.
Read more at http://www.fmylife.com/
Im so lazy right now I dont feel like typing at all.
Think luck is not on your side?
Think your life is fucked up?
Check these out...
Today, in the bathroom during the ACTs, my hair got stuck in the electric hand dryer. I had to rip my hair out. For future reference, hair + hand dryer = dreadlocks. FML
Today, I was alone in my friend's kitchen. I had "Don't Cha" stuck in my head all day so I decided to let it out by doing a slutty dance, including spinning around the support pole in the kitchen. I heard a noise outside and saw my friend's dad had been cleaning the windows. With a boner. FML
Today, my adorable five and a half year old boy told me that when he grows up he's going to be my boyfriend. I thought it was kinda cute until I asked him why. "Because you need one." FML
Today, was teacher appreciation day at my school. They played a slideshow of all the teachers. The students cheered wildly for every teacher. When my picture came up, nobody clapped. The whole room was quiet. FML
My favourite:
Today, my cousin and I found out that when a girl puts a flower in the right side of her hair, it means she's available. The bigger the flower, the more available she is. My eleven year old boy cousin told me to "cut down a palm tree and put it in my hair". FML
I've been addicted to it since I found out about this site from Suet Li.
I know la it is bad to laugh at people's misfortune or badluck but sometimes it just makes you think hey my life is not so bad afterall.
Read more at http://www.fmylife.com/
Im so lazy right now I dont feel like typing at all.
Monday, April 20, 2009
Be a good wife
Sheesh...
What's wrong with the weather these few days? I'm already melting and gonna evaporate soon.
Geez.. i want to live in the bathtub with cold water -__-
Made myself a tumbler of green tea and put it into the freezer so that it'll cool faster and I will have iced cold tea to drink but i forgot all about it and it turned to a whole block of green tea ice the next morning.
Yupe.. i put it under the hot sun so it will melt faster :P
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Found this while browsing the web.
An article on how to be a good wife published in mid 1900.
**update** only after i've uploaded it i realized it is too small. How to be a good wife if cannnot read leh?
So.....
.
.
Tadaa!
-Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal ready on time for his return. This is a way of letting him know that you have be thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they get home and the prospect of a good meal is part of the warm welcome needed.
-Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so you'll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh-looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people.
-Be a little gay and a little more interesting for him. His boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it.
-Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives. Run a dustcloth over the tables.
-During the cooler months of the year you should prepare and light a fire for him to unwind by. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift too. After all, catering to his comfort will provide you with immense personal satisfaction.
-Minimize all noise. At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer or vacuum. Encourage the children to be quiet.
-Be happy to see him.
-Greet him with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire to please him.
-Listen to him. You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first - remember, his topics of conversation are more important than yours.
-Don't greet him with complaints and problems.
-Don't complain if he's late for dinner or even if he stays out all night. Count this as minor compared to what he might have gone through at work.
-Make him comfortable. Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or lie him down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him.
-Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soothing and pleasant voice.
-Don't ask him questions about his actions or question his judgment or integrity. Remember, he is the master of the house and as such will always exercise his will with fairness and truthfulness.
-You have no right to question him.
-A good wife always knows her place
WTF??? hilarious!!
(erm.. don't ask me why am i looking a good wife's guide on the net)
What's wrong with the weather these few days? I'm already melting and gonna evaporate soon.
Geez.. i want to live in the bathtub with cold water -__-
Made myself a tumbler of green tea and put it into the freezer so that it'll cool faster and I will have iced cold tea to drink but i forgot all about it and it turned to a whole block of green tea ice the next morning.
Yupe.. i put it under the hot sun so it will melt faster :P
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Found this while browsing the web.
An article on how to be a good wife published in mid 1900.
**update** only after i've uploaded it i realized it is too small. How to be a good wife if cannnot read leh?
So.....
.
.
Tadaa!
-Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal ready on time for his return. This is a way of letting him know that you have be thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they get home and the prospect of a good meal is part of the warm welcome needed.
-Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so you'll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh-looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people.
-Be a little gay and a little more interesting for him. His boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it.
-Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives. Run a dustcloth over the tables.
-During the cooler months of the year you should prepare and light a fire for him to unwind by. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift too. After all, catering to his comfort will provide you with immense personal satisfaction.
-Minimize all noise. At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer or vacuum. Encourage the children to be quiet.
-Be happy to see him.
-Greet him with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire to please him.
-Listen to him. You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first - remember, his topics of conversation are more important than yours.
-Don't greet him with complaints and problems.
-Don't complain if he's late for dinner or even if he stays out all night. Count this as minor compared to what he might have gone through at work.
-Make him comfortable. Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or lie him down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him.
-Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soothing and pleasant voice.
-Don't ask him questions about his actions or question his judgment or integrity. Remember, he is the master of the house and as such will always exercise his will with fairness and truthfulness.
-You have no right to question him.
-A good wife always knows her place
WTF??? hilarious!!
(erm.. don't ask me why am i looking a good wife's guide on the net)
Monday, March 9, 2009
Fairy Tales characters on the loose!!!
As you've probably already read from Angela's blog, there is this kingdom which belongs to Mr. Lim where all the fairy tales characters live..
Anyway... this is a continuation of the story..
First of all, the tigress DID NOT eat everyone in the kingdom.. she decided she is better off as vegetarian. That means bye bye to bunny burger, roasted deer meat, and of course bebola daging! In short, they all became good friends and live happily ever after.
Secondly, the fairy tales characters turned out to be avid camwhores the instant the King left the court..
Thirdly, did I mentioned that they are 23 years old? Sigh....
See.. told ya they are good freinds..
the bunny, eldest piggy, wild boar, youngest piggy and the tigress
the young lord with his three beautiful princesses and an equally beautiful piggy :P
the 3 lil pigs and the big bad wolf!!
Some hungry people who wanted pork chops for dinner.
little pink riding hood with the forest's animals
Walter and Higgle the two piggies.
the King and his subjects :)
Your's truly.... Niggle th youngest pig!
Anyway... this is a continuation of the story..
First of all, the tigress DID NOT eat everyone in the kingdom.. she decided she is better off as vegetarian. That means bye bye to bunny burger, roasted deer meat, and of course bebola daging! In short, they all became good friends and live happily ever after.
Secondly, the fairy tales characters turned out to be avid camwhores the instant the King left the court..
Thirdly, did I mentioned that they are 23 years old? Sigh....
See.. told ya they are good freinds..
the bunny, eldest piggy, wild boar, youngest piggy and the tigress
the young lord with his three beautiful princesses and an equally beautiful piggy :P
the 3 lil pigs and the big bad wolf!!
Some hungry people who wanted pork chops for dinner.
little pink riding hood with the forest's animals
Walter and Higgle the two piggies.
the King and his subjects :)
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
And lastly....
Your's truly.... Niggle th youngest pig!
Thursday, July 31, 2008
Whatever la....
Setting: In a restaurant (or a cafe, kopitiam, hawker centre, mamak.. whichever that u prefer..)
Waiter: Hello, may i take your order please?
(if it is in a kopitiam or at mamak--- Aaa.. drink what?)
Customer: Er.. what do you have?
Waiter: We have bla bla bla yada yada yada bla bla and yada yada....(goes on and on for 10 min utes liddat)
Customer: Oh, then can I have er.. ice lamon tea (no typo there, it is lamon, not lemon)
Waiter: One ice lemon tea? Anything else?
Customer: Er..wait.. cancel the ice lamon tea. i think i'll have whatever.
Waiter: Sorry, can you please repeat?
Customer: Whatever.
Waiter: Er...are you sure?
Customer: (Irritated) Yes! Whatever! Just give me whatever!
Waiter: Yes, miss..
....3 minutes later....
Waiter:Miss, your drink. (puts a glass of the most expensive drink on the menu since the customer asked for whatever)
Customer: Wait a minute. What's this?
Waiter: Oh, this is yada yada bla bla bla.
Customer: But i didnt order this. I asked for whatever!
Waiter: Ya, u asked for whatever, so i made the decision for you *smiles*
Customer: Ya, i asked for whatever, so give me whatever!! Why are you giving me this!?
Waiter: Huh? You said whatever, so i gave you whatever...
Customer: Yeah.. but you should give me whatever, not this!!!
Waiter:But.. but.. but...
Customer: No buts! Get me whatever or get me your manager!! YOU CHOOSE!!
Waiter: *blanks*
I want whatever....
So cool rite? Whatever. It comes in six different flavors. And you will not know what flavor is your drink until you pop it open and glug glug glug or sip sip sip.
Good for the indecisive and those who lurve surprises.
Too bad you can't get this in Malaysia.
PoayLing's friend got this from Singapore.
PS: Anything oso got.. so next time u go to coffeshop in Singapore, ask for Anything or Whatever!
Friday, July 18, 2008
LOL
Below is actually an email i received from a friend..
If you are a Sarawakian, i bet that u will LOL!!
IGNORANT fella asking STOOOPID questions about SARAWAK.
This is the Sarawak flag
our symbol, hornbill bird-bird
Q: Oh, you are from Sarawak! *eyes wide with excitement* So far away! How you people come here ah?
A: See this?
Everyone Can Fly. wtf
Q: Oh, like that! So back home, you people live in trees ar?
A: I live on trees. Not in trees. And i use lift to go up to my house.
my house
Q: You guys have electricity or not?
A: SESCO, mind you.
SESCO building in Kuching
do we have electricity??!!
Q: Kuching got airport or you use boat go Johor?
A: I use BUS
Miri Airport
do we have airport?!
Kuching International Airport
Q: How long if I take bus from Singapore to Kuching?
A: Serious SHIT! You're one hell of a stupid idiot! F8CK YOU.
Go la. Use your fucking bus to cross South China Sea
Q: Over there got what car?
A: View below
which car you want? WTF
Q: Got road or not?
A: Shits. WTF
do we? do we? have road? hahahaha..
Q: Sarawak inside Sabah, right?
A: You fail Geography ka?
Q: Eh? Sabah Sarawak not the same meh?
A: You really SUCKS in Geography
Q: Kuching how big ar?
A: As BIG as your BALLS. What the f*ck. You really need to learn Geography
Q: Kuching got a lot of cats hoh?
A: Bullshits. Do you have common sense? LANgkawi, a lot LAN JIAOS lah? Kuala LUMPUR, a lot LUMPUR lahhh!?
Q: Sarawak got Malay?
A: I wanna KILL you. You learn HISTORY?
our CHIEF MINISTER
Q: Sarawak people can speak English?
A: What the f*ck. If not, how am I going to answer YOU, YOU BASTARD?
Q: You people from Sarawak use Ringgit?
A: No. Actually wee used Barter System. WTF!
*Please excuse Cheezable for using such vulgar language*
If you are a Sarawakian, i bet that u will LOL!!
IGNORANT fella asking STOOOPID questions about SARAWAK.
This is the Sarawak flag
our symbol, hornbill bird-bird
Q: Oh, you are from Sarawak! *eyes wide with excitement* So far away! How you people come here ah?
A: See this?
Everyone Can Fly. wtf
Q: Oh, like that! So back home, you people live in trees ar?
A: I live on trees. Not in trees. And i use lift to go up to my house.
my house
Q: You guys have electricity or not?
A: SESCO, mind you.
SESCO building in Kuching
do we have electricity??!!
Q: Kuching got airport or you use boat go Johor?
A: I use BUS
Miri Airport
do we have airport?!
Kuching International Airport
Q: How long if I take bus from Singapore to Kuching?
A: Serious SHIT! You're one hell of a stupid idiot! F8CK YOU.
Go la. Use your fucking bus to cross South China Sea
Q: Over there got what car?
A: View below
which car you want? WTF
Q: Got road or not?
A: Shits. WTF
do we? do we? have road? hahahaha..
Q: Sarawak inside Sabah, right?
A: You fail Geography ka?
Q: Eh? Sabah Sarawak not the same meh?
A: You really SUCKS in Geography
Q: Kuching how big ar?
A: As BIG as your BALLS. What the f*ck. You really need to learn Geography
Q: Kuching got a lot of cats hoh?
A: Bullshits. Do you have common sense? LANgkawi, a lot LAN JIAOS lah? Kuala LUMPUR, a lot LUMPUR lahhh!?
Q: Sarawak got Malay?
A: I wanna KILL you. You learn HISTORY?
our CHIEF MINISTER
Q: Sarawak people can speak English?
A: What the f*ck. If not, how am I going to answer YOU, YOU BASTARD?
Q: You people from Sarawak use Ringgit?
A: No. Actually wee used Barter System. WTF!
*Please excuse Cheezable for using such vulgar language*
Wednesday, July 9, 2008
What KLites really think of Kuching.
Last month, a few friends came to Kuching for holiday and they were amazed at many thing that we have in kuching that they don't have it in KL.
Check this out ......
http://juaynjade.blogspot.com/2008/06/cat-kucing-kuching.html
By the way, i started teaching as a trainee teacher in a school in Subang USJ two days ago and is in the process of turning crazy!
Check this out ......
http://juaynjade.blogspot.com/2008/06/cat-kucing-kuching.html
By the way, i started teaching as a trainee teacher in a school in Subang USJ two days ago and is in the process of turning crazy!
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
Locked in!!
I was locked in my own house yesterday!!
How hilarious is that??
This is the scenario:
My mum went out with one set of key..
My dad went to work with one set of key..
Her royal highness Me left my housekeys in my car..
On that fateful morning, Her royal Highness pan- leng-leng wanna go out.. then realize the main door is locked, the back door is locked and the key is nowhere in sight!!!
What to do.. call for help lo.. (on the phone la, u think i shout "tolong" meh??)
Then, have to wait for another two hours for dad to come back and and grant me freedom.. haih..
Anybody know a remedy to cure blurness??
How hilarious is that??
This is the scenario:
My mum went out with one set of key..
My dad went to work with one set of key..
Her royal highness Me left my housekeys in my car..
On that fateful morning, Her royal Highness pan- leng-leng wanna go out.. then realize the main door is locked, the back door is locked and the key is nowhere in sight!!!
What to do.. call for help lo.. (on the phone la, u think i shout "tolong" meh??)
Then, have to wait for another two hours for dad to come back and and grant me freedom.. haih..
Anybody know a remedy to cure blurness??
Tuesday, May 6, 2008
Funny Quotes
These are the two quotes from two disney cartoons that i like..
From Lilo And Stitch:
Dance instructor: Lilo, why are you all wet?
Lilo: It's sandwich day. [sighs] Every Thursday I bring Pudge the fish a peanut butter sandwich.
Dance Instructor: Pudge is a fish...?
Lilo: [continues] But today we were out of peanut butter. I asked my sister what to give him and she said a tuna sandwich. I can't give Pudge tuna! [whispers] Do you know what tuna is?
Dance Instructor: Umm... fish?
Lilo: It's FISH! If I gave Pudge tuna, I'd be an abomination! I'm late 'cos I had to go to the store, to get some peanut butter, 'cos all we have, is, IS STINKING TUNA!
Dance Instructor: Lilo. Why is this so important?
Lilo: Pudge controls the weather.
Myrtle: You're crazy.
And another two from Finding Nemo:
Bruce: Fish are friends, not food.
Anchor: Except stinkin' dolphins!
Chum: Dolphins! Yeah, they think they're so cute! "Oh, look at me, I'm a flippy little dolphin, let me flip for you!"
Nemo meets their teacher, Mr. Ray.]
Mr. Ray: Well, Nemo — all new explorers must answer a science question.
Nemo: [worried] Okay.
Mr. Ray: You live in what kind of home?
Nemo: [confidently] An an-ne-me-ne-mo-nem-ee! [not so confidently] A-nem-mo-ne-men… me-ne-mo-nee!
Mr. Ray: Okay, okay. Don't hurt yourself.
From Lilo And Stitch:
Dance instructor: Lilo, why are you all wet?
Lilo: It's sandwich day. [sighs] Every Thursday I bring Pudge the fish a peanut butter sandwich.
Dance Instructor: Pudge is a fish...?
Lilo: [continues] But today we were out of peanut butter. I asked my sister what to give him and she said a tuna sandwich. I can't give Pudge tuna! [whispers] Do you know what tuna is?
Dance Instructor: Umm... fish?
Lilo: It's FISH! If I gave Pudge tuna, I'd be an abomination! I'm late 'cos I had to go to the store, to get some peanut butter, 'cos all we have, is, IS STINKING TUNA!
Dance Instructor: Lilo. Why is this so important?
Lilo: Pudge controls the weather.
Myrtle: You're crazy.
And another two from Finding Nemo:
Bruce: Fish are friends, not food.
Anchor: Except stinkin' dolphins!
Chum: Dolphins! Yeah, they think they're so cute! "Oh, look at me, I'm a flippy little dolphin, let me flip for you!"
Nemo meets their teacher, Mr. Ray.]
Mr. Ray: Well, Nemo — all new explorers must answer a science question.
Nemo: [worried] Okay.
Mr. Ray: You live in what kind of home?
Nemo: [confidently] An an-ne-me-ne-mo-nem-ee! [not so confidently] A-nem-mo-ne-men… me-ne-mo-nee!
Mr. Ray: Okay, okay. Don't hurt yourself.
Friday, April 18, 2008
Tuesday, April 1, 2008
Monday, March 17, 2008
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