Mad + dissappointed + sad

F your life kao kao..

....

I. am. tired. of. this.

I duno la.. i really don't know.. one day i like what i'm doing, the next day my face is as black as the charcoal. Wassup with me?

I am

not a very good employee because I am now blogging from office using the company's computer, company's internet line...
Lunch time now~
Sigh.. this is the time I look forward to everyday (other than counting down to 5pm tick, tock, tick tock)
Eating mee goreng tapau-ed from downstairs. Sick of eating bread, sandwiches and cookies already, that's why went down to get food.

Was late for work this morning :D not purposely la. Was stuck in the traffic jam coz it was raining heavily and got accident. That's why la, raining heavily, road slippery still drive so fast for what!

Rummaged the office pantry just now and found nescafe woot! Made myself a nice mug of coffee~~

wanna go shopping! Wanna buy something very important!!

Ps: Boss and Mrs boss not in office today ^^ nyeheheheheh **laughing mischeviously**

oh ya, Tell you this, don't be shocked k?
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I cut my eyelashes..
went to my aunts house last week and we talked about facial, hair extension bla bla bla then talked about her friend who cut he eyelashes everynow and then and they grow out really long and thick.
So, the adventurous BoBo aka me took a scissor and snipped off a few mm of her long lashes (which many, no, most people envied :D) Hoping that it will grow longer and thicker.. (vain la! padan muka)
but hor.. one week already and my eyelashes still havent grow wor.. :( :( :(

So now, i need to buy some eyelash serum to make it grow longer and faster.. sigh.. whay la i am so vain, why la i go cut it, why la i'm so stupid...
I MISS MY EYELASHES :((

babes..help me to pray that my eyelashes will grow back please.. amen.

now you know what is the "something very important" that i have to get!


**remember to pray ar.
** and don't scold me for cutting my lashes :(

I think

it is pms la.. Pre or post whatever fark la..

-Everything people said seems like a sindiran to me...
What used to be jokes and goofs now seem to be mocking and hurtful. Too sensitive?

- messages don't get across to the other side then one side will get hurt. in this case it's usually me.. pathetic!

- human beings are born with the need to constantly talk about themselves... and it drives me crazy!

- ignorant kids who think they know a lot.. farkof!

Yesterday

Was talking to my mum last nite while she was preparing dinner.
Told her that I am waiting for a reply from a company in Bandar Utama that offers 3k.
Then she said "if u can get it, go work there la."

^^ :D :) :> yeehaa yipee..

But that is only my mum's opinion, have yet to ask my dad.

Now, the only thing to do is pray that they will call me, pray that I get the job and pray that dad lets me go back to PJ.

Was offered a freaking 1200 from a company in kuching. Wahlieu, damn high man the pay WTF! Monday to Frday office hour, Saturday half day, Sunday off, might hve rooster to jaga at night because classes are held at night. Gosh.. seems like a lot of work for just 1200
I was told that I have to be jack of all trades if i'm employed. Sigh.. so guys worth it or not?

Donno whether I should reject it and wait for another opportunity.

Maybe I'v been living in Kl for so long that I tend to look down on Kuching in term of salary and opportunities.
I can't seem to stop myself from comparing the jobs here with the ones in Pj and K
which is driving me crazy!

The day

I cried when Angel hug me goodbye before she left for work.
I cried when I had breakfast with Juayn and Shukim at Coffee Bean.
I cried when I read Angel's letter.
I cried when I was at Gemini coz Juaynna made me cry.
I cried when Joan said "Ni bu khe yi wang chi wo, ze tau ma?"
I cried when XiaoFatt hugged me goodbye.
I cried when I received a sms from Tracy.
I cried all the way to LCCT.
Then Sukur cheered me up a little when he accompanied me. Then voila, I cried again when I was about to head to the departure hall.

Been home for 2 days now and all I'm feeling is numbness.

No smile, no laughter.. is this really necessary? After all, it is partly my choice to come back here.

Still scouting for jobs. I am hoping to get full time and part time jobs. Maybe full time day job and something part time at nite or weekend just to keep myself busy...

Today's interview left me hopeless.
"Why do you apply for this post?"
"You are a trained teacher right?"
"Did you apply to be a tutor or lecturer anywhere else?"

But like Juayn said... "remember law of attraction?"
So, I'm going to attract what I want with my mind~~~~~

Yeah.. you are right. I need time. I cannot overpush myself.

Tell me

Tell me how to decide when you weren't given a choice in the first place...
Tell me what to do when everything has been planned and decided for you...
Tell me what to say when everything I said will not be heard...
Tell me.. because I wasn't given a choice...

I trusted, I believed,
I'm stupid for trusting and believing.