Last night

Mum called last night, asked me why didn't I call home for more than 1 week.


I told her I was busy with work, that's bullshit.. If I have the time to hunt 2 malls for a dress, I have the time to call her. It's just that every single time I call, or mum calls, the topic will always revert to me being a teacher, signing for posting. I was told last night, many people at home were asking me about my "teaching career".


I am tired of this already. Again and again I was asked, and again and again I gave the same answer, yet, 5 seconds later, I will still be bombarded with the same question. Is it me, or there is some kind of communication breakdown here?


I told the friend the other day, one reason why I want to be away from home is to be away from all those pressure.



All I want is a little encouragement, words of support, a little pat saying "Well done girl!"
It's never good enough, isn't it? No matter what I do. I will only be good enough when I do it their way...


Are they disappointing me or the other way around, me disappointing them?



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A free bird leaps on the back of the wind
and floats downstream till the current ends
and dips his wing in the orange suns rays and dares to claim the sky.

But a bird that stalks down his narrow cage
can seldom see through his bars of rage
his wings are clipped and his feet are tied so he opens his throat to sing.

The caged bird sings with a fearful trill
of things unknown but longed for still
and his tune is heard on the distant hill
for the caged bird sings of freedom.

The free bird thinks of another breeze
and the trade winds soft through the sighing trees
and the fat worms waiting on a dawn-bright lawn and he names the sky his own.

But a caged bird stands on the grave of dreams
his shadow shouts on a nightmare scream
his wings are clipped and his feet are tied so he opens his throat to sing.

The caged bird sings with a fearful trill
of things unknown but longed for still
and his tune is heard on the distant hill
for the caged bird sings of freedom.

-Maya Angelou (I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings)


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